Selling the Gold

Good morning God. What is my question today? I shall entitle this day " selling the gold " as this is where my thoughts are. I deal daily with lack, in only one area - money. Actually, I have money and this is why I remain so confused about my constant projection of lack. I inherited a gold coin and, today, I have decided to sell this. It will be worth about $2,500.00, a good sum indeed, but will be used to pay bills. I am anxious about selling this but unsure why. Do I worry about future security? Perhaps but my bills are due now. Why do I not see this as a wonderful opportunity to see abundance. I have a bill and the universe has provided gold with which to pay this bill. As always, it reduces to fear - fear that I will not find a job - or will find one that I do not enJOY. I feel a little disappointed in myself that I hold this negative position but DO KNOW that in GOD'S universe, everything is perfect. Recently, I began smoking again and was very harsh on myself. But interestingly enough, I realized that when I smoke, I brush my teeth more often. Now, does that justify smoking? But what if the universe knew that I was encountering dangerous bacteria and, knowing that I do NOT choose illness ( contrary to what smoking might insinuate )I was lead back to s0mething that would KEEP me healthy. The smoking ACTUALY causes me to keep my mouth cleaner!! Of course, I do not know about this and ego tells me that this is justification for addiction but WHAT IF - IJDNK. There are other questions in my mind like this one; other situations i perceive to be negative but are actually facilitating my choices.
If we experience our thoughts then we, again, must look at what we are thinking. I KNOW I choose health and feel healthy!! So, what about "selling the gold". I do feel lacking money but COULD actually feel comfortable - so what gives? I am asking that question of myself - what does give. Can I look at the coin with gratitue? Can I think of my Mother and thank her for saving this coin for me to use at this very moment. My guess is that from her non-physical perspective, she is saying " sell the coin, it is only money, use it NOW " She has experienced the pleasure of not needing money in non-physical. I truly assume that all in non-physical regret that they worried, or feared, or hoarded or maintained any posture but love and the present moment. In our unconsciousness, we give so much importance to things and physical experience. For me, right now, it is all about being the chooser of my own experience. I do not want to make any choices based upon money but find myself making, almost, all of my choices base upon this. I have taken back my power ( of love ) in so many areas - why not this. Money seems to have such power over me. Is this because I have this sense of not being enough? If I am not enough then I assume I will not have enough? I have a wonderful spouse, fantastic children, remarkable friends and neighbors. In all of my life I am so very, very grateful and happy. This one area of money is still my teacher. So, Lynn, let it teach you.
I ask that The Holy Spirit look upon this issue with me. Clearly, my way of trying to change this attitude IS NOT WORKING. I am struggling for more to write so I will close with my question:
WILL THE LIGHT OF TRUTH SHINE AWAY THE UNWANTED, IF ASKED?
Peace and Love to the world of GODS - Lynn